Online Book “Taking Chances” Chapter 19:
I was at work. It was Thursday, and I hadn’t heard from Seth
since letting the dreaded three-word salute fly on Sunday. I checked my cell
phone again. Nothing.
I had started to text him more times than I could count. I
had pulled him up in my contacts to call him numerous times, as well. Each time
I chickened out, wondering why he hadn’t contacted me.
I pulled my phone out again, and then I put it back in my
pocket with a sigh. “Oh for Peter’s sake,” Annie shook her head, “just text
him.”
I had been around Annie so much that I barely noticed
anymore how she butchered idioms. She looked like she was completely
exasperated with me. “Give me the phone,” she glowered, holding out her hand.
I tried ignoring her, but she shook her hand, indicating she
meant business. I tentatively moved it towards her. She snatched it up and
quickly typed a message. “There, let the chocolate chips fall where they may,”
she said handing the phone back to me.
I looked at the words she had texted to Seth from my phone.
‘I’m off tomorrow. Want to go on a picnic?’
“I’m not off tomorrow, Annie.”
“You are now. I’m sick of looking at your gloomy mug of root
beer.” I tilted my head at that one, but she continued on. “Get out of here and
go fix yourself up. You look like a ragamuffin. Relax in a nice, warm bath, or
take a yoga class or something.” She placed a hand on my shoulder and gently
pushed me toward the door, accentuating her point.
From anyone else, her brutal honesty might have hurt my
feelings, but I knew Annie loved me unconditionally and had my best interest at
heart. So, I followed her not-so-gentle nudge and waved behind my head as she
yelled after me, “Don’t worry. He will call, or he’ll have me to deal with.”
I smiled at the thought of the tiny firecracker that was
Annie trying to take on big, strong Seth. He probably wouldn’t know what hit
him if she shook her finger at him and defended me with her characteristic,
nonsensical zingers.
When I got home, I took Annie’s advice and pampered myself a
little. I put my cell phone on silent and hid it in a drawer, so that I
wouldn’t be tempted to check it compulsively. Then I relaxed in my sudsy tub,
letting the jets massage my achy body for nearly an hour. After that, I
slathered myself with the thick, body cream that I save for special occasions.
I went to Courtney’s room for nail polish and beat Tab to the
punch by hissing at her when she glared at me from Court’s bed. I settled on
deep blue for my toenails and seashell pink for my fingernails. Once my fresh
mani and pedi were dry, I glared at the drawer with the cell phone in it.
Surely he had called or texted me back, right? It would be
rude not to. But what if he hadn’t? I was almost scared to look, but knew that
I needed to. “Here goes nothing,” I muttered as I blew out a breath and looked
at the phone. Nothing.
I plopped down on the floor as the tears started to roll
down my cheeks. I tried to think of any other logical explanation for why he
wouldn’t have contacted me. I knew that if he was sick or had been injured, his
family would have contacted me. I wondered if maybe he had lost his cell phone
with my contact number, and almost became hopeful, but there had been plenty of
time for him to stop by to let me know.
I devised numerous scenarios to try to come up with a valid
excuse for his silence, but shot each one down. I didn’t want to admit what I
knew the truth to be. I was being blown off. That was the plain and simple
explanation, but it hurt like hell to face it, especially knowing that it was
completely my fault for saying too much, too fast.
A sob escaped my throat as I curled into the fetal position
on the floor, devastated. I fell asleep that way and didn’t wake until morning.
My body was sore and my eyes felt like they’d been rubbed with sandpaper. I
stretched and scowled at my cell phone.
I hadn’t turned it off silent mode, so maybe I had missed
something. I couldn’t keep the hope at bay, even though I knew it would be in
my own best interest. I took a deep breath and pushed the button. Nothing. It
was like having my heart ripped out.
I knew that I should enjoy my day off, but I just didn’t
feel like doing anything. I climbed up on my bed and went back to sleep.
Courtney’s knock aroused me from a deep sleep. She entered my room with a tray
of food. I rolled away from her and tried to re-enter the sweet oblivion of
sleep. “You need to try to eat something.” Her voice was filled with concern,
but I steadfastly ignored her, and she left me alone.
I slept and slept until I had no concept of what time it
was. The next time Courtney knocked on the door, she came in and sat on the
edge of my bed. She saw the untouched tray of food and chastised me. “Ab, you
didn’t eat any of this.” I didn’t respond, so she tried a different tact. “Time
to get up. You need to get ready for work.”
“I’m off,” I grumbled at her.
“I talked to Annie and she told me she gave you yesterday
off,” she responded. “Today is Saturday, and it is time to rise and shine.”
I was shocked that I had slept through an entire day, but I
didn’t have any desire to get up. “Call Annie and tell her I’m not coming in
today.”
“You never call in sick.” Her eyes were filled with concern.
I didn’t want her or Annie to worry, so I said, “I just need
some more time, Court. Tomorrow is Sunday, and the shop is closed. I’ll be back
to my mean-old self by Monday, I promise.” I made an effort to smile at her,
but ended up just wincing. I hoped that I would be able keep my promise to her,
but it didn’t feel possible.
After she left, I went back to sleep. It was the only place
where the weight of sadness didn’t feel like it was crushing the breath out of
me. Even my dreams were troubled though, and I awoke in the dark, covered in
sweat.
I tried to sleep more, but my stomach was rumbling. I rolled
over and grabbed a couple of stale potato chips from the tray Courtney had left,
then I took a few sips of water and sat up.
My cell phone was sitting on the table, mocking me. Court
had plugged it into the charger for me. I vowed not to get my hopes up, even as
I felt my heart rate increasing when I reached for it. I cringed as I pushed
the button. Nothing.
I curled back up on my bed and pulled the covers over my
head, seeking oblivion.
When I awoke again, it was daylight, and I was starving. Life has to go on, I reasoned with myself. So, I got up, threw the duvet over my bed, picked up the tray of leftover food and went downstairs to make some breakfast and try to get over Seth Davis.
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